Her Atonement
by RoseofAnotherName
Summary: It has been about four years since Alistair has left her side as a Grey Warden, and with rebellions on the rise against Queen Anora, can Arleta find out who is really behind them, and get her Atonement? If there wasn't Dragon age: Awakenings.
1. At the Beginning

Screams filled the air, along with groans. I didn't care. I didn't care anymore, as I sat in the corner of my cell. Holding my legs to my chest, and resting my head against my legs I smiled. I didn't smile cause I was mad. I smiled cause this was a fitting way for me to die. Alone, set to execution. What a way for Commander of the Grey Wardens to go. I looked up to the celing of Fort Drakon, and remembered what happened there on the roof. How we defeated the Archdemon, how I was rescued the last time I was in this cell.

"Commander."

I looked to the door of my cell to see one guard with three soldiers on each side of him. "It's time."

I stood up and walked to the door, that swung open for me. This was my time at long last.


	2. Secert Dealings

I fiddled with the silver in my hand as I watched them. Watched him. After all these years, he still hasn't changed, well that much. He still was tall as I remembered, same messed up blonde hair, and same clear lake blue eyes. I couldn't help but feel the pain in me start to rise when he started to down another pint of mead. I did this to him.

"Need another drink?"

"No." I said without missing a beat, placing my hand over my mug. I flipped a coin at the bar maid though as I said, "But if that one wants another one, its on me." The least I could do after all.

The bar maid nodded her curly head of hers.

"And give this note to the red head sitting next to him." I placed a piece of parchment on the table with two silvers on top of it. Without saying another word, I turned and left not wanting to see Alistair try to drown his sorrows in another pint. I needed to talk to Leliana about where she should take Alistair next, and what to pay her. I knew she was getting tired of taking care of a drunk mess, and that I should try to talk to him about what had happened. That maybe, just maybe he would understand.

_"He's not an idiot Arleta. He would understand why you did what you did."_

_"That I knew that when a Grey Warden killed an Archdemon, that Grey Warden dies? And I conscripted Loghain, so that when we fought the Archdemon Loghain could bring honor back to his name? That I only cared for his safety and mine, so that somewhere in the future he could forgive me and we can live happily ever after? Somehow I don't think he, nor anyone else but you can understand...."_

I took off the hood, and let the cool autumn wind swirl around me. Somehow this always calmed me, just closing my eyes and breathing in the autumn air. Then as everything must, this moment ended with a swift thud of a door.

I jumped, taken by surprise, and I quickly put my hood back on before I forgot, and quickly walked away from the tavern. Too many fights with Oghren in the past has taught me that standing around, or not walking away fast enough, lands you in a fight no matter what. And tonight, the last thing anyone needed, let alone me, was my fist in someone's eye.

* * *

"Commander...?"

I didn't look up from my desk as I wrote a letter to Wynne telling her about how much I hated the palace life to care about who wanted to talk to me. So, as always I just waved them in.

"What is it this time?" I asked, holding out my hand waiting for either a letter from the Queen asking for my presence, a small quest I might have to do, a love letter from a noble, or on the rare occasions, nothing.

"The Queen requests that you meet her in her Royal Rooms for an important matter."

I closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath. This was the fourth time this week that she has had requested my presence by the Maker's ear!

"What is it this time...did she loose that pesky Nug that the Dwarven trader from Orzammar gave her?" I closed my hand around not one, but two letters.

"What's this?" I asked looking at the other note, throwing the Queen's letter on the floor next to my feet.

The letter didn't contain a seal, and as I opened it I heard the messanger say, "From me. Who else?" Confused I turned to see Zevran standing beside me smiling.

"You little! It is soo good to see you!" I then stood up and hugged the assassin.

"I wish I could say the same." He said with a smile as I let him go. "Tisk, tisk Warden. I come to the palace to see you, and here you are not having a court scandal." I laughed at him as he shook his head.

"Later, I promise." I winked at him as I sat back down into my chair. "Sit! Sit! I must hear what my favorite assassin has done recently!"

"I would love to sit, chit-chat, and maybe something else with you, but alas, the Queen has sent for me. Thinking that I was but to woe her then to my marvouls surprise I heard that you would be joining us, I came here as fast as I could."

"Wait...the Queen has asked for you too? What could she want?"

"I do not know. Only that it could stem from the rebellion that had just been...quieted a few days ago."

"Yes...in West Hill...I heard." I shook my head. Yet another rebellion in Alistair's name. This was getting harder, and harder to convince Queen Anora that he has nothing to do with it.

"Well, the sooner this is over, the sooner I get to hear more glorious tales of you're travels my friend, " I put my arm around his shoulder as we walked out of my room.

"Do we have to talk about that? I was hoping, you know...not to talk?"

"Maybe after a few drinks," I winked as we made our way down the vast halls of the palace. "You still can't get me that easily."

"I know. I just wish sometimes that I could be more like Alistair. Whatever he did worked, no?"

I didn't answer right away as that question caught me off guard. Zevran along with Oghren, Wynne, and Leliana knew that I still loved Alistair. That and they knew why I did what I did. If they still approve or not, they know why.

"It did." I finally answered as we rounded a corner. I sighed. "It still does." I couldn't look at him after that. And we didn't talk for the rest of the way to the Queen's chamber. Even though it was only a short walk, it seemed forever in that silence. I lost count of how many times they all have told me to either forget him and move on, or to tell him the truth.

"Commander Arleta of the Grey Wardens, and Zevran Arainai here on Queen's orders." I looked at each of the guards, and after looking at the note that the Queen had given me, they opened the door, and let us pass.

"Security is tight. Do they fear assassins?" whispered Zevran as we walked up to the Queen.

I shrugged my shoulders right before we bowed to the Queen.

In the four years of being the lone regent of Ferelden, Queen Anora looked like she had aged more then all of us after the blight. Her fine, golden sun hair, started to fall out in places. And fine lines started to appear around her eyes. She no longer looked energetic, and as strong as she once was. Without a husband, or an heir, her battle for the throne, and the continuation of it had taken more then her youth, it started to take her mind.

"Ah Grey Warden! " she exclaimed giving us a brief smile. "Here you are, I was afraid you had already left for Highever!"

I smiled back as I started to take a few steps forward, "Not ye-"

"No further Grey Warden!" yelled the Queen, holding up her hands as if to stop me. "Sorry..." she giggled as I took a step back in confusion. "For you see, rumors of attempts on my life are flying around this palace to much for mine, or my counselors, comfort. "As you were saying..."

"Not yet you're majesty...I leave in a few days." I bowed again. "If you're highness permits it, I wish to stay there at least a week. Instead of a few days like I had previously asked. For my new sister-in-law is due to have her child soon, and I..."

"Wish to see it? Of course my Warden. How could I keep you from that? But anyways, before you go Warden, I want you and Zevran here to take care of one little problem for me."

Zevran and I quickly exchanged a look before I said, "What favor is that my lady?"

"To kill the threat to my throne. Kill Alistair."


	3. Tavern Fight

"Alistair?"

The Queen nodded.

"But...but how is he a threat my lady? I have heard stories of how now a days he is just a lowly drunk." I had to hide the shock, and the weak attempt of trying to save him. This was the first time that she has mentioned, let alone, order someone to kill Alistair.

"That is what I am told my dear Warden, but he is still a threat no matter."

I couldn't help but be a little shocked.

"Do you know of where to find him?"

I looked over at Zevran praying to the Maker that he wasn't really going to go through with this.

"I have had some of my spies keeping track on him and they say that last night he was at the Gnawed Noble Tavern drinking heavily. Try to make it as quiet as possible." She smiled and nodded her head as if agreeing with herself. I smiled as politely as I could back and bowed once more. My heart was screaming, and I could feel my adrenaline racing through me.

"I will have it done tonight my lady." I turned and walked out the door. This wasn't going to end well. Not at all.

"What are we going to do?" asked Zevran, as he tried to keep up with me.

"We are going to make a grand entrance...that is what we are going to do." I had a plan, and Anora wasn't going to like it. But, I had to in order to save Alistair. This was the only way.

"Ohh...I like grand entrances."

* * *

"You know, you shouldn't have cut you're hair Warden...it was so much sexier longer."

"I know you did. But I liked it shorter, like I use to have it in the old days." I tucked a small braid behind my ear as I looked at the door to the Gnawed Noble Tavern. This wasn't going to be easy. "But remember the plan. You go in first, talk to Leliana and Alistair. Then when it starts, tell Leliana the plan, and what is going on. After...that...well, you know what to do." I grimaced. I really didn't want to do this at all. "I will catch up you on the road, just keep heading towards Highever no matter what you do." He nodded, and I could feel the tension start to build back up. "Now go...before I change my mind." And like always, he did just what I asked. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Commander!"

Cheers erupted in the Tavern as I entered it. "All hail the Commander! Hero of Ferelden!"

I smiled, raising my hands up to try to quiet them down. "Now, now I am no hero!" I laughed as I saw at least five people stand up and toast their drinks to me. I looked around the happy tavern to see Leliana and Zevran talking in a corner all hushed like, and Alistair... I swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat, as I made my way to the bar.

"Commander tell me...how goes the recruiting?" asked a drunken lord, who started to tilt to far to the right.

"It is going good. So far Ferelden has around three whole regiments of Grey Wardens ready to defend her should the blight come back." I patted the lord on the shoulder as if to gove him either comfort, or thanks.

The lord nodded his head, mumbled something I couldn't hear and went back to finishing off what he was drinking. Smiling I turned and continued my walk to the bar.

"Aye Commander...haven't seen you in quite some time." Boris smiled as he finished wiping down the table in front of me. "What can I get ch'ya?"

"Same for me Boris. Well...how 'bout some regular Ale," I put two silvers in on the table and smiled.

"Right away miss."

I turned to my left and looked over my shoulder, as if just watching what was going on waiting for my drink when I saw that he stood in front of me.

"What in Makers name are you doing here?"

I looked up to see that Alistair has been indeed been drinking and that he didn't look happy at all to see me.

"I could say the same thing about you..." I hissed turning back around.

"Don't you turn you're back on me!" I felt him grab my left shoulder, and yank me back around to face him. The Tavern went deathly silent. They all knew what had happened at the Landsmeet, so they "thought" there was bad blood between us. Well, on his part there was.

I threw my left arm out, knocking his hand from my shoulder. "Don't you dare touch me!" I stood up to meet his challenge. I needed this to go this way as much as I could.

"Ohh...I'm so scared by the Commander! The great Hero of Ferelden!" Mocked Alistair as he threw his hands up. "What about the trader to Duncan? Or the great Traitor to all the Grey Wardens that died at Ostagar? You're no hero!" He then spat in my face. Perfect....

I balled up my right fist and decked him across his left cheek. He stumbled back, touching his cheek in surprise.

"You BITCH!"

He charged tackling me onto a table, making it break under the force of our bodies, and the tackle. We landed with a thud on the floor sending screams, shouts, and beer all over us. His first couple of punches hit there mark, but I so did mine. With one quick, and hard punch, I was able to move him to my left, and rolling with him, took my turn on being on top and just started to let him have it.

He then grabbed my arms, and as being stronger then I was, threw me to my right, which led to my back being slammed into a couple of bar stools. I tried to get up, but he was too fast. One kick after another, he kicked as hard as he could at my stomach. This was no longer a regular fight. One of us was going to kill the other. Timing the kicks, I swept my right leg under his standing one knocking it from under him. He landed on his back, and it was now my time to strick.

I jumped on him again, and this time I grabbed a hold of his hair, and I started to bash it in against the floor.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" yelled Boris, as I felt rough, and strong hands pick me up, and threw me away from Alistair. At least three men were holding me back, when Leliana, Zevran and at least two more men were trying to calm and hold Alistair away from me. "If you both want to try to kill each other do it outside and not in my tavern!"

"Sounds like a fair deal," I wiped the back of my left hand across my bleeding lip. "You in, or you too much a coward?"

He lunged at me, but one of the men pulled back on his arm. I laughed, yanking my arm from the grip of one of the men that was holding me back. "In the back alley, now." He grunted, as he too yanked his arm free.

This was all going to plan.


	4. Till Death do us Part

He shifted his weight to the left, and I fallowed suit. There was no way I was going to be caught off guard like that. It seemed like forever since we had started to circle each other in the now crowded street. A ring of people had surrounded us, forcing us to fight in a very limited space. And of course I struck first.

Faking to the left, I lunged at his right, placing my left foot between his two. Grabbing his left shoulder, I tried to push him over enough so that I could knee him the chest, or at least push him enough where I could jump on his back, and place my dagger across his throat. But, I was stupid.

Almost as reading my mind, Alistair used my feet placement to his advantage. He instead threw out his left arm, catching me in my stomach, and picked me up. He used the momentum from stepping forward to toss me like a rag doll over somewhere. I hit at least one person, and as I slowly started to get up, I felt my hair being yanked out of my scalp. Grabbing my hair, I rose to where Alistair wanted me to rise too, and I was met with a hard punch across my left cheek. He let go of my hair, and I fell to the ground. Fearing another kick to my chest I rolled to my side away from him, and slid to a half crouched position. I could hardly bare to open my left eye as we both looked at each other. I rose to my full height, and spat some blood out of my mouth as I stared at him. I needed to think of how to do this. Drunk Alistair, or not, this was the same guy that stood by my side as we fought the darkspawn in both the Deep Roads, and at Ostagar. I knew his tricks, and he knew mine.

I took a step forward, and he followed. Then he charged, and this time I copied. When he was close enough I jumped up and sent my right foot out to catch him in the stomach. Instead he grabbed my foot and turned violently to the side ready to throw me again. This time, I kicked my other foot in the air, and as he turned me I struck him across the face with it. He let go of my foot, and I fell to the ground as he did. I turned around to see him staggering back up.

"THIS ENDS NOW!" I screamed, as I forced my legs to move under me. He got halfway up when I collided with him. We both fell against each other, and as I rose to straddle him I unsheathed the dagger from my belt. As if he knew what was happening he too unsheathed his own. From his sleeve I do not know but as I tried to stab him, he grabbed my wrist with his free hand, and I grabbed his hand with mine. He was laying on his back, and we were no more then a few inches from each others faces. I looked into his eyes, and when I did...everything left me. All the angry, all the hurt, and all the sadness. In that one brief second I lost myself. I could feel my strength leaving me, and this gave Alistair the advantage. Pushing up, he knocked me back on my knees. I couldn't hold him there, as I it was a very poor spot to be in. He then forced me to fall to my back, knocking the dagger from my hand. I gritted my teeth and tried to push back. Letting go of my once armed hand, he punched me across the face. We both knew this fight was going to end soon, and I needed to do what I was sent out here to do. As he slowly sat back up, I reached for the dagger. He placed his hand on my neck, and I could feel him start to squeeze. I couldn't panic. I grabbed the hilt of the dagger, and with one swift, and final turn of my arm I stabbed the knife into his side. A look of surprise fell over his angry face. Tears sprang to my eyes as I saw the light in his start to fade. He closed his eyes one last time the fell to the left of me face first in the dirt. I slowly turned his body to his back, and pulled the dagger from him.

I still could hardly breathe, and as I slowly moved myself away from Alistair the world spun around me. I tried to stand, but I fell back. I knew what I had to do, but even the thought of doing this was way to much for my heart to take. I heard Leliana cry, and saw her fall down to his side. Her hands hovered over him, and all I could hear her say was, "No, no no...."

I slowly dragged myself away from her, away from them. I knew, that she knew that this had to be done. But I still didn't want to see what she would do next. Zevran knelt down next to Leliana, and when she turned to him, he opened his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. Bringing myself to stand up I couldn't look anyone in the eye. I turned and I started to run.

The crowd parted as I ran through them. Tears escaped my eyes as I picked up the speed. My chest ached from the kicks that Alistair had given me that I had to stop and actually hug my chest. I leaned against the nearest building for support as I tried to breathe. The cool air stung at my throat as I leaned my head back to look up at the stars. I took the dagger and wiped the blood from it's blade onto my pants. Then taking the dagger, I cut my left shoulder open, leaving my blood on the blade instead. I leaned back against the wall, letting the pain just seep through me. Did I really just do what I thought I did? I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I reopened them and pushed myself away from the wall. There would be time to cry, not now.

I made myself run to the palace and to the Queen's bedchamber. Bursting through the doors, I awoke the Queen from her slumber and before she could say anything I threw the dagger at one of the bedposts, making the hilt dig deep into the wood.

"There's the blood that you have asked," I spat, watching my blood start to drip on the floor. Before she could anything I turned on my heel and stormed out. That was the last time I ever set foot in the Palace again.

* * *

My mare whined as we slowly traveled the North Road leading away from Denerim. I don't know if I gave them enough time to get Alistair out of there or not. The woods were quiet, too much for my comfort as we went around another bend. I prayed to Andraste that the campsite wasn't far as I just then started to cough up blood. My vision becoming blurry, probably from the toxin that I had coated on the dagger's blade before I had left the palace. In the distance I could barely see a small glow, like a fire. Hope rose within me.

I urged my horse to go a little faster before the toxin took over my senses completely leaving me stunned and unconscious. Just when I could see the fire, and could hear both Leliana's, and Zevran's voices, I fell into the darkness, and into the fade.


	5. Maleficar

I awoke to the blinding sun that surrounded me. I tried to block the sunlight from my with my right my but it was to no use. It just was to bright. Slowly sitting up I heard Zevran chuckle in the background. "You should be more careful my Warden friend." I looked around to find myself laying in a wagon next to Alistair. Who was still out. Zevran was walking behind the wagon with my horse, as I turned to look behind me to see that Leliana was up front driving the wagon.

I tried to say some quick remark about how he should next time not use as much concentrated soilder's bane, but found that I couldn't talk. Which just made Zevran laugh even harder.

"It's the drugs my dear. They should ware off in a few minutes. But I must say you sleep like an angel." I glared at him but he continued to smirk at me. "Now you must be careful. The drugs tend to make people a little..."

A sudden urge to vomit came across my mind, as I scrambled to lean over the back edge of the wagon, emptying whatever I had eaten the previous day onto the road.

"...sick." Zevran moved out of the way, still laughing at my state.

"...Where...are..." I groaned, trying to overcome the side effects of the drug.

"We? Well, we are about half a day's journey from Highever."

I nodded, as I let my legs hang over the edge. My head still swam, making my stomach lurch again. Closing my eyes I wished that I didn't do that foolish act. I should have know Zevran would use too much, and that not all of it would be used by just one stabbing, and a quick wipe of the blade. I then opened my eyes again, and looked down the road. So peaceful without all the darkspawn crawling, and destroying everything. I could actually hear the birds singing in the trees that surrounded us, and for once felt a little at peace. I turned back around, and crawled to Alistair who was still sleeping. He was on his back, head facing where I was. I tried not to smile, not to think that this meant anything, but I couldn't help it. I hovered my fingers just above his nose to make sure that he was breathing. I felt little movement of air which made me smile. He looked so at peace, so...happy. A wave of guilt struck me then, and I looked away from his face. He didn't have a shirt on, as I guessed that they removed it once they got him into this wagon that I had bought, and hid in the Market, to quickly bandage him up.

"How bad was the injury?" I asked Leliana who's back was facing me.

"Was not very bad. Shallow, which was surprising because of you're performance last night." She slowed the team down, and quickly turned around to face me. She smiled then turned back around. "It is good to see you awake, and of course to see you my dear sister."

"Same here my friend." Smiling I crawled back to the edge of the wagon, and again put my feet over the edge. Grabbing the side of the wagon I pushed myself off, hitting the ground with my feet. My knees buckled a bit, but Zevran caught me and held me up.

"You should take it easy. The drug is not out of you're system."

"I will be...fine," I whispered. Which was better then the croak that I made earlier. "I need to stretch my legs...a bit." He nodded, and helped me to catch up with the wagon.

By nightfall we had reached the gates of Highever. At this time I was sitting up with Leliana and couldn't help but grin. It had been so long since I was last here, and I dearly missed my brother.

"Sister is that you? I wasn't expecting you for another day at least!"

"Fergus!" I jumped from the wagon and ran to my dear brother. When we embraced, he picked me up and swung me like he use to before the blight.

"It is so nice to see you dear sister!" He whispered, hugging me close. He was basically all I had left ever since that night.

"Same here! And how are you? How is Ashley?" I asked as our hug ended.

"She is doing fine...but I have heard some disturbing news about you." Fergus looked at me with concern.

"What about me?" I didn't think that the "murder" of Alistair could reach Highever so quickly.

"...well, I have heard that a young noble is trying to catch you're heart..."

"Not this again! Fergus I told you!" I laughed, play shoving him away from me. "You know as well as anyone else that I couldn't even consider marrying someone like him! You are just as bad as mother was!"

He smiled, and threw his arm around my shoulder. "Well dear sister...someone has to take up were she left off. Now come, bring you're friends in from this cold night and have some food!"

"We will, just let us take care of our things first." I slide under his arm, and walked back to the wagon. I needed to get Leliana, Zevran, and Alistair on their way as fast as they could to catch a ship that would take them to Orlais. A place where Alistair should be safe from the reach of the Queen, and a place to be among other Grey Wardens.

"You know...real food, and a comfy bed does sound nice..." spoke up Zevran as soon as I was in hearing distance.

"A bath does sound nice." Leliana looked at me with smile in her eyes.

"I see where this is going," I laughed pointing at the both of them. "I do not care if you guys decide to stay, but what I do care about is what if he wakes up? I don't think I am the person he really wants to see when he gets up."

"Don't worry the drug should at least keep him knocked out for another day or two."

I shook my head. "I just don't think it is a good idea. I bought him some time, but now..." I took a deep breath. "Now I think is the time where I stopped helping him. It is time that I moved on, and so does he. When we gets on that boat to Orlais he should be safe from anyone wanting to kill him here. Safe from Anora."

"But what about you? Anora isn't going to become sane all of a sudden. You might as well come with us." Leliana knew that I wasn't going to safe in Ferelden much longer. The Queen was getting more, and more mad for reasons unknown. Just like her father...

"I would, but Alistair...no. I cannot I am sorry." I held out my hands in an apology. I smiled as I asked Zevran, "You are sure that the drug will keep him out for the night?"

* * *

"It has been such a long time since I have seen you laughing," whispered Leliana as we walked to our rooms after dinner.

"It has been a long time since I have had the pleasure of being in the company that I love." Our walk became slow, and I didn't care. It had been ages since Leliana and I talked like this, or talked at all.

"You know...he still loves you..." spoke Leliana after a while of silence.

"And how do you know of this?" I said as gently as I could. I could feel the happiness being sucked out of the hall that we were in. This was not the time to talk of this.

"He says you're name often when he sleeps."

"So...you and he..."

"No no! Maker's breath!" Leliana cried throwing her hands up in front of her. I stopped and looked at her with my eyebrow raised. "I mean after he drinks, alot, and I have to carry him to his bed. He talks to me, as if I were you."

"And...wh-what does he say?" Did I really want to know what he has to say about me? That I am a whore, a worthless piece of trash?

She smiled and started to walk again. "He says that he still loves you."

"Is that it?" I asked, mentally chastising myself into thinking that there was more. He was the same Alistair that I knew before.

"No..." she giggled. "He actually asked if you would marry him."

"And are you sure he wasn't asking you?"

"Is my name Arleta?"

This stopped me in my tracks. "He didn't...you're making this up."

"Why would I be-?"

I leaned against the wall with my left arm, as I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Are you alright Arleta?"

"I-I think so..." I started to stand again when it happened again. This time I fell to my knees. Something wasn't right...no...it couldn't be!

"Leliana listen to me! You must wake Alistair up and..ugh!" I leaned forward as soon as pain burst through me. It felt as though someone just ran a sword through me. I could hardly breathe. "You must...tell him...that..." Blackness started to creep into my mind, I could feel cold hands wrap slowly start to wrap their fingers around my throat.

"...you...must...tell...him..."

I couldn't hear what she was screaming, I was losing control of my mind. Suddenly I was thrown against the wall, both of my arms, pinned to either side of me.

Ah...so this is a Grey Warden...interesting.

"Tell him...Maleficar..."

That was when I felt my head being smashed into the wall, sending me back into the fade.


	6. Promises

Ok...so this chapter is going to be a little crazy. The first part is a POV from Arleta of course, and as I found myself writing this chapter, I couldn't help but put in what was happening on the other end. Like you get to see what had happened on both ends of this. Trying not to spoil this, I just want to point out that later in this chapter when Alistair is confronting "Arleta" the italics are what "she" is saying outloud, but in another voice...sorry, i may just be confusing you. And before I let you read this, I just want to say, THANK YOU! thank-you to all the people that read this, have alerted this, and reviewed! Much thanks all around!

* * *

_"Pup?"_

_I looked around the room. I could see shadows moving in and out of the walls. I couldn't keep focus. My mind going in and out of the Fade._

_"Pup?"_

_"Father?!" I cried falling to my knees. I felt as though I was going to be ripped in half, that half of my body was in one world, and the other here..._

_"You shouldn't be here..."_

_I gasped for air, feeling something press on my lungs. The pain was excruciating!_

_"Help me Father!" I pleaded. I needed to get out of here, I needed to get back...I...can't...think..._

_"...you need to finish what you started..."_

"ARLETA!"

_The room around me started to spin. One minute I could Zevran's face, the next one, a blank wall._

_"SOMEONE!"_

_I felt my chest being risen up in the air, head, arms, and feet dangling, then..._

SLAM!

I took a quick breath of air as I came back to the real world, if only for a second. I could feel blood in my mouth, and pain everywhere.

"Leliana...get..." Then I was slammed back into the wall.

It felt as though someone was trying to force my spirit out of my body. I clawed at the ground, I needed to stay here. I knew that if I went back into the Fade again...I might not come out. Suddenly a flash of blue and white illuminated the floor and I could feel my spirit winning. I heard a roar echo through my ears, as again I was risen above the ground from my chest like a puppet with it's string through the middle.

I closed my eyes, knowing that I was going to be slammed against the ground one more time. I felt the air shift around me, but instead of being pushed, I felt...freedom. Just like someone had cut the puppet strings that went through me. So I fell.

Instead of hitting the ground, I landed in someone's arms. I tried to lift my head up, but I couldn't. I couldn't think. So much pain.

"...get...Alistair...out..." I whispered. I could feel the peace as they laid me down on the floor. So much pain...

"Don't! There must be another way!"

My senses were coming back, and I now could start to move, even though how painful it was. I felt like a fish out of water. I rolled my head to the left, and blinked. I tried to say something, but I found myself spitting up blood. I looked at my hand, stretched out like that, and tried to move my hand. I had to squint to concentrate on moving it, and after it seemed like ever, my thumb finally twitched. This wasn't good.

"How long will it take us to get to the Circle?"

The voices were echoing in my head, I tried to listen to what they had to stay.

"Four days. And that is if we travel nonstop."

"That might be too late."

"Its either that or..."

"...Death."

* * *

Alistair didn't know what was happening...he didn't know why in the Maker's name he was still alive. Didn't she finish him off in the street? Why was he so dizzy, and how is Zevran supporting the majority of his dead weight as he was basically dragged down the halls.

"Wh-" And it didn't help that he couldn't talk.

"Just tell me that you can still do you're lovely templar things..." Zevran looked like he was about to collapse.

"Ywaghe..."

"...without talking..." Heaved Zevran as they rounded the last corner. Alistair looked up to see a group of people in a circle, watching what looked like a fight. Arms and legs flung around like a rag doll. Thrown up against the wall, then landing with crash to the floor.

Leliana, looked horrified as she noticed Zevran, and Alistair down the hall. "Thank the Maker!" She gasped, going to the right side of Alistair, throwing his arm over her shoulder and helping Zevran drag the drugged Templar over to the group. And that is when they heard it.

_"So this is what it feels like to be a Grey Warden and have so much power!"_

A cold shiver ran up his spine, as the group parted a little bit to see a girl sitting on her knees. Her head was bowed, with her dark auburn hair fanned around her face. Blood was dripping from her mouth, and he could see that at least one of her legs was twisted in a way so unnatural that it had to been broken.

The girl raised her hands in the air, and tilted her head back to examine them.

"Arleta..?" he whispered. Knowing that that was the only word that he could actually say. And how could he not? How many dreams have tormented him since the Landsmeet, since the betrayal? A lump formed in his stomach. Out of hatred, or guilt he did not know. All he knew, was that Arleta was no longer Arleta...she was possessed.

The girl looked at him surprised, and smiled. Alistair, and everyone else could see the blood running down her face, and dripping onto the floor. Her once bright green forest eyes, where dull like onyx stones. No life. No soul.

_"Arleta isn't here...I am sorry."_ Arleta, or whatever it was now tilted it's head to the side at Alistair, still grinning it's grin which unnerved him greatly. _"But...why are you here...aren't you supposed to be dead?"_

"Arleta." He said it louder this time. He knew she was in there somewhere, and when the head suddenly jerked to the left, he knew that she was fighting whatever it was.

Her face, looked back at Alistair's and the grin widen. _"So much pain...so much hurt..." _It tilted its head the other way. "_She cried for so long..."_

"Arleta!" He said it stronger now.

The head jerked again, and it was like the light came back in her eyes. "HELP ME FATHER!" She screamed before her head jerked the other way. When the face looked back to Alistair, angry shown.

_"You dare defy me! I will rule over you all!"_ Her voice sounded so twisted, so evil. _"Her life force is draining Templar!"_ Blood started to come more freely from her mouth. The grin widen.

Zevran left Alistair's side and grabbed the head in his hands.

"ARLETA!" Screamed Alistair, afraid that whatever was in her body would harm Zevran.

Her body shook, as her voice came back screaming, "SOMEONE!"

Leliana also left Alistair's side, grabbing Zevran on the shoulder and dragging him away from Arleta. Alistair could barely hold his weight, but formed a sign in front of his chest, and closed his eyes. He didn't see her body being raised like doll in the air, he couldn't. His Templar training had taught him not to. He needed to focus on casting his "spell" or what Arleta use to tease him about.

He only opened his eyes when he heard her body being slammed into the floor, like the sound of watermelon being dropped from the castle's walls. He could see that she was back. Frantically clawing the ground for something that she could hold onto for a lifeline. She was being risen back into the air, and he hobbled slowly forward. He was directly under her, muttering what he was taught to. The light blue flames licked at his bare feet, as her body hung in mid-air then slowly descended into his awaiting arms.

"...get...Alistair...out..." She mumbled, as she layed in his arms. It was shocking to him, to see her this badly damaged. Never in fighting the darkspawn did he see her this...weak. This badly broken. She looked as though someone ran her over with a carriage several times.

He laid her down on the ground so helpless, so weak, so much in pain. She could barely keep her eyes open, and even though he had wished that she would die by his hands, he didn't want it to be like this.

"Zevran...give me you're dagger." He held out his hand to Zevran, who bowed his head in defeat, and placed a dagger in the Templar's hand. Alistair knelt by her chest, and picked up her head, placing the dagger inches above her exposed neck.

"Don't!" Cried Leliana, placing a hand on his shoulder. "There must be another way!"

"What do you suggest?" asked Zevran, looking at Leliana. "That we continue for her to be possessed."

"But we simply cannot kill her right away!" Spoke up Fergus taking a step closer to the friends. "She has told me of how you saved Conner from death by seeking the Mages in the Tower. Will they help this time?"

"That was a demon possession..." Alistair looked up to Fergus still holding her head in his lap. "This is blood magic. Some blood mage is trying to steal her body from us. Is trying to possess her."

"Then they should know some protecting spells, or something to shield her from the mage!"

"We cannot suffer her to live any longer like this! You saw her... she was fighting as hard as she could against whatever it was, and she had NO control over it! Whatever that thing was...it's strong and it will possess her."

_"...you know I could never hurt you. I love you Alistair."_ He closed his eyes, trying to erase the bittersweet memories that seem to compete with the darkspawn nightmares.

Arleta moved her head, and he opened his eyes back up to see that she tried to say something, but more blood came out. Every minute was killing her. He needed to end this now. He needed to take her out of her misery.

"How long will it take us to get to the Circle Tower?" He found him asking, lowering the dagger's blade to the ground. But even though he was trained as a Templar...he could not kill like this without seeking other ways.

"Four days, if we travel nonstop." Zevran walked around Alistair, and took the dagger from Alistair's hand.

"That might be too late." Leliana looked around each of her friends faces, hoping to see another option.

"It's either that..."started Fergus, with fear, and dread clinging to his voice.

"...Or death." Finished Alistair, looking down at the woman that he had once loved.

_"You promise me Alistair, that no matter what the outcome, that you will still be with me? That you will never leave or hurt me?"_

And somewhere in his mind, he knew that he still loved her.

"I promise."


	7. Confession

I couldn't remember what happened next. As it all seemed like a dream. The voices calling my name, horses gallops and cries, and the warm protecting arms around me. I could hear whispers of my name, I could feel soft gentle hands on my skin, and when I did open my eyes I could see faces surrounding me. It was so hard to breathe. With every take I could feel my lungs burning, felt as though I was drowning in my own blood. I turned my head slowly. Strength was leaving me...I tried to take a deep breath of air, and I felt fire spread through me. I winced, as I started to cough.

_"Arleta..."_

Light appeared above my eyes. I turned away, trying to block it from me.

_"...What exactly happened?"_

They were hushed, but I could still hear them. I slowly opened my eyes to see that I was no longer in the hall. I was in a room that I have never seen before. Tapestries of blue and gold hung around the room, with images of both fire, and water. There were some bookshelves, not alot though, and the door that lead into the room was located to my right where a sat a chair also. I watched the shadows shift from under the door.

_"We don't know...we suspect that there is blood magic at work Wynne."_

I tried to sit up, but when I moved pain spread throughout my right leg.

"Maker's breath!" I hissed refusing to move anymore. This caused the whispering behind the closed door to stop. I looked at the shadow and saw that they stopped from shifting. I heard the door slowly open with Wynne standing in the doorway. I smiled weakly. "Long time no see..."

She smiled, but I could see the fear in her eyes. "Arleta...my dear I am so happy you are awake."

She sat down into the chair after helping me to slowly sit up. "I understood you're letters," She whispered, keeping her voice low. Relief quickly came into me. For I don't know how long, I had sent letters to Wynne, in a code that only she and the others that traveled with me, knew. "Do you really think that there is a blood mage at the court?" The door shut, by the other person that Wynne was talking to earlier.

"I think what happened to me," I groaned, as my hands discovered my head was wrapped in gauze. "Is enough to make anyone believe." I leaned back onto the headboard, and sighed. "I'm just confused on why they wanted Alistair dead, when they really wanted his blood."

"I think that they wanted his body."

A smile crept up on my face. A joke about how the blood mages, not only wanted him, but needed him. I looked at Wynne, and decided not to say it.

"I mean to say, is that the blood mage wanted to take control of Alistair's body, if you had actually fallowed orders. But from Leliana, and Zevran have told me, it seems that you have made a huge dent in their plan. Why did you do that?"

"You know why Wynne," I said trying to drop the subject. I looked away from her, and tried to think of what my next plan was. I didn't mean to put myself out as bait, or think that the nagging fear in the back of mind was true. How was I going to prove that there was a Maleficar at the court? When Anora has become so paranoid about everything? She was even paranoid about my beloved dog, who...

I shook my head clear of that past. I couldn't live up to that guilt.

"Is there any way to protect me, from further attacks?"

Wynne was silent for a moment, as in trying to figure out how to say whatever she was going to say.

"All we have my dear is the Litany of Adralla. I have made copies of it for you and everyone." She smiled at me and took one of my hands into hers. "Someone would like to talk to you."

"If it is Alistair...then no." I took my hand from her. "I cannot, and will not talk to him. He needs to leave to Orlais as soon as possible." I cannot face him...not now.

"But dear..."

"I said no Wynne!" I snapped, feeling the tears coming to my eyes. I looked at her, as one fell. "I have done enough. I do not wish to fight with im, or anyone else."

The door opened suddenly and he walked in.

"I will not be ignored!" He yelled comming into the room. He looked angry, and this didn't surprise me.

"Now Alistair..." started Wynne, as she stood up, between us.

He looked at her, like I have never seen before. Always, the little banter between them on the roads were always more like mother and son. He would always back down when she gave him that look. But now, he was giving it to her. She bowed her head, then left the room, silently closing the door behind her. Leaving me with him.

"What is going on?"

His voice stung me like an icicle. I flinched as he stared at me. I couldn't answer I just couldn't.

Silence surrounded us, till finally I was forced to answer saying something I shouldn't have.

"You were right."

He looked at me then, and I quickly looked down at his feet. "You were right about everything. About how you should have been King. About Loghian, and Anora...Oh Maker you don't how right you are!" It took all I could to keep all my emotions down. I looked at my hands that I was nervously twisting the sheets.

He didn't say anything which it just made it worse.

"I-...Maker's breath! The reason why I choose Anora was because I loved you! I was selfish, and stupid! I didn't want to become just another girl that the King had loved. I didn't want to become some footnote in the history of Ferelden. Then I discovered at the Circle before we left, the awful thing of being a Grey Warden." I took a breath. Why in Maker's name was I saying this? I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't...WYNNE! Blast that awful, vile woman

"...look. The only reason why I showed up at that bar, was because Anora wanted you dead. It was either I did something, to save you, to make up for my huge mistake and selfishness, or let her hire someone else to actually kill you." I looked up at him then, trying not to tell him everything of why I chose Loghain to save Alistair from a death that I knew he would take. "I had Zev put some potion on it, talk to Leliana, and let me, and you're hatred of me do the rest." I took a deep breath, looking away from again. "Then the plan was to have Leliana and Zevran take you to a ship that I had paid, that would then take you to Orlais. Where, by the Maker's blessing," I waved my hands in the air praying that the Maker was listening. I was growing really nervous, and I could tell that I was talking really fast. "...you would be safe from the people trying to kill you." I sighed and put my head into my hands. "Then, as a precaution, I wiped you're blood off, and cut myself with the knife putting my blood on it, just in case my hunch of a Maleifcar was right, so when I gave the knife to Anora as proof that I did indeed "kill" you, you would be safe then."

Finished.

I kept looking at my feet, with my hands on either side of my bandage head. I didn't want to look at him, to tell the truth, at that point I didn't know if he stayed around long enough to hear about the Maleifcar. And not until I heard movement, and him sitting down in the chair next of me, did I know that my worse nightmare was coming true. The one with me telling him about the truth for four years. Well, part of it anyways.

"...why did you do this?" he half whispered.

Tears sprung to my eyes. Was he this dumb?

"Why did you save me? You didn't have too. You didn't have to have Leliana take care of me, you didn't have to pay for all the food, the inns, transportation, and you sure in hell didn't have to put yourself at risk with a Blood Mage for me! So why in Andraste's knickers did you do all of this?!"

"If you really must ask," I turned on him, with tears starting to run down my face. "Then you really don't deserve and answer." And there it was. My emotions, my thoughts, everything laid bare for him. For the guy that in my mind, still hates me. Still hates everything I stood for, and spat on the ground that I walked on. I looked into his clear blue eyes, and it scared me for I couldn't read them. I couldn't read him anymore.

I looked away before he could see anything else of my soul.

"...Just...just go away," I whispered wiping some of the tears away. "Just go to Orlais and live the life that you were supposed to have, before all of this." Again I waved my hands in the air. I was tired, sore, and still broken both mentally, physically, and now emotionally. The worst part of all of this was. He didn't say a single word after I had told him how I felt. Basically anyways.

I felt him put a hand on my shoulder, then heard the chair moving. I felt his hand leaving my shoulder, hearing his footsteps across the wood, heard the opening and closing of the door and silence.

For several seconds I sat there trying to sort my emotions till finally I turned to my side, against my better judgment, and cried into my pillow long and hard. I didn't care who heard me, I just cried.


	8. ThankYou

For several days I haven't seen him. And in a way I was relieved. Wynne and the others wouldn't talk about him, and even if I had asked, I don't think they would have told me anyways. For those several days, I grew slowly stronger, and with Wynne's help my right leg was almost fully mended. Well, it was well enough that I could somewhat walk around the room for a little bit.

"In a few days, you are to be heading out to Orlais, and I will be heading back to Highever with Wynne of course." I said "walking" with both Wynne and Leliana.

"But limping does not count!" laughed Leliana as she and Wynne both slowed down a great deal in order to walk beside me down the Circle's hall.

"As long as I get there...I am walking," I grinned, heaving my right leg like a pirate does with his supposedly wooden leg.

"You look ridiculous Warden!" said Zevran as he walked up next to us. "And to think I used to love watching you walk from behind." We all laughed at that, well, almost all of us.

"Hello Alistair."

I froze. I needed to get away from him, and from this whole situation. Trying to turn around, which wasn't easy with the leg, I said, "Well that is enough walking for me today..." By the time I took a couple of steps, I felt pain spread through my leg, which made me stumble, and lean against the wall. "Shit...shit...shit..." I hissed grabbing my leg, as I heard everyone come towards me.

"You ok? I think you had strained it too much today," tisked Wynne, like a mother hen as she knelt down to do a quick examination. Zev, and Leliana stood further back from Wynne, just watching, and Alistair...well, he was starting to walk away in the other direction. She stood back up, and smiled at me. "It is alright, just tired. Alistair?" She turned around to see that Alistair was trying to move around both Zevran and Leliana, who were blocking his path. Her smile grew. "Oh Alistair dear..." Alistair froze, and slowly turned around to meet her gaze. "...will you be a dear, and help Arleta to her room?" I was going to kill her.

"No no no, it's ok Wynne. It's not that far I can make it!" I tried to turn, and put weight back on it, but as I did, this time I fell to the floor. I didn't understand, I was doing fine till Alistair showed up then suddenly it felt like a wolf just took a huge mouthful of my thigh and started to trash it around.

"Here..."

I looked to my right to see that Alistair's face right next to mine. I quickly turned away and hoped he didn't see the blush on my cheeks, as I felt his arms gently, and nervously wrap around my waist and slowly helping me up. I put my right arm over his shoulder, and with that he helped me to my room as fast as possible. We didn't speak at all, we didn't look at each other, well, he could have looked, I know I didn't. Not until we reached my room though.

"Thanks for helping me," I said trying to move away from him, which didn't work and made me stumble against the door.

"Here," he grunted bending down and scooping me into his arms. He kicked open the door, and quickly made his way to my bed where he basically dropped me onto it.

"NUG HUMPER!" I gritted, as I grabbed my leg. "THANKS ALOT!"

"WELL YOU'RE WELCOME!" He yelled as he walked to the door, which magically closed before he could leave. "GREAT JUST GREAT!" He pouned on the door for a few seconds yelling, "Wynne this isn't funny let me out!"

Finally he turned around, and turned on me instead of the door.

"This is all you're fault!"

"My fault? How in Maker's name is this my fault?!" I tried to reposition myself on the bed which just made it worse by any movement made me wince. "I didn't lock you in here! And it wasn't my idea so we can have that cleared now!" I didn't want him in here, not at all! I glared at him, as he glared returned the favor. Finally I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and took a deep breath before I heaved myself up again.

"Why do you keep on getting up?"

I looked up at him, to see that he was leaning against the wall not looking at me. I set my teeth as my leg started to throb. "Because..." I settled my weight on my left leg and started to walk to the other side of the room where I the books where. "...I'm stubborn." I didn't look to see if he smiled or not, I didn't care. Scanning the books was made more difficult as I felt as though I was being watched. I slowly turned my head to my right, acting as though I was just looking at a particular book. I picked a random one out, by the name of "Ferelden Beasts" and opened it slowly looking at the pages. But I looked out of the corner of my eye, which I had done so many times in the past that it was second nature to me by this time, to see that Alistair was indeed watching me.

"What do you want?" I asked shutting the book and looking at him fully this time. He stared back for a few minutes, then looked away. He was hiding something from me I could just feel it. "Whatever," I turned back around and placed the book where it belonged. I told him how I basicly felt, but he can't tell me anything?

_"Well...you did ruin his life after all..."_ Another voice spoke up in the back of my head. Great. I put my right hand to my head. I was now arguing with a voice in my head.

"Were you lying to me?"

I stood straight up and limped/turned back around to face him. He still leaned there, looking down at his feet.

I wanted to say about what, but I knew I couldn't. "No."

He nodded his head and looked at the door that was more then likely locked, but probably now had a few people listening in on us.

"You still never answered my question..." He looked up at me waiting.

"About what?" I asked, trying to keep out the fear in my voice. Was he really that dumb, or did he just wanted me to say it?

"Don't play dumb with me!" He stood up and walked over to where I stood. I backed up from him as far as I could, running into the bookshelf. "Why..." He stopped just a few feet away from me, and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up more then it was. "Why did you do all of this for me?" He didn't look me in the eye, which didn't matter because I was at this time too busy looking at his shoes.

"I.." I couldn't say it. I just couldn't. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to say it. I needed to. Maybe if I did, he would leave and we both could finally heal, or go our separate ways. Again, since this whole mess happened, tears started to form, and fall on my cheek. This hurt so much! Not just my leg, which was little more then a painful throb compared to the emotional mess I had become. Physical pain I can handle, but emotional? Not on you're life.

"Because I still love you..." I whispered. There. There it finally was. I opened my eyes, and continued to look at the ground, at his shoes. I didn't want to see what he was thinking. I didn't want to see the anger, the sadness. I could feel my body start to tighten up, ready for the fight that I knew was going to happen. The horrible laugh that I had heard in my head, whenever I thought of this moment. His cold, cynical laughter as he told me how much he had hated me, and how he wanted me to die. How stupid I was to hope for this, and that I should have killed him when I had the chance.

But instead, I felt one of his hands gently touch my left cheek, and I slowly turned to look at him with tears streaming down my face. Anger was starting to build up in me. Why didn't the fight start? Why didn't he walk away and slam the door behind him?

"...Thank you." He said gently, then slowly kissed me on my forehead. "Thank-you."


End file.
